My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
