I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
