know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
