my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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