I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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