Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
