I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
