school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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