i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
