Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The best revenge is premature balding
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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