im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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