i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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