Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
