She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
