Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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