you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
