there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
