i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
