I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
