The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
