Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
