I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
