Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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