I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
