If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
