He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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