There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
