i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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