guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
