I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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