how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
