Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
