haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
