Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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