I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
