Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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