he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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