hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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