I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
