We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just invented taco cereal.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
