So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
