I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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