One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
