I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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