Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
