whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
