you mean i was at the winter classic?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
