Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize