I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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