my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
