one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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