Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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