i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
