That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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