that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
