Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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