Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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