We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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