i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
