Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
