no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
