Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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