absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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