Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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