lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
