I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
