So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
